Grief Felt So Like......

"No one ever told me grief felt so like fear." ~C.S. Lewis

I love this quote by Lewis.  But I've discovered since then what no one told me.  If I could change this quote, I would have it say "No one ever told me grief felt so lonely."

And no one ever did.  Grief is lonely.

Because everyone grieves differently, grief is lonely. 

I feel like I've been in a sort of war that no one else has heard of or been in.  And no one knows I've been in it.  But the impact of it, the wounds, scars, and hurt....it's all still there.

How do I interact with people?  I feel like everything has changed.  My heart is not what it was.  And I don't know how to engage it in my relationships with people. 

Lewis, I understand what you felt.  Grief does feel like fear.  And loneliness.