Those You Are Closest To Can Hurt You The Most

It hurts my heart that I will never be able to share with some people close to me about the most important things in my life, because we see life differently.

There is such beauty in relationships that span generations, but oh, there can be so much hurt too.  One person sees their way as right, and so does the other.  But really, what's important is that both of those ways are right for those two people in their own way.

The last year has been hell for me.  There have been bright spots, but they are so hard to see amidst the darkness.  Sometimes I forget they were there at all.  I am so thankful for those who have stuck by me when I couldn't see any light, but supported me in my brokenness and in my reality.  You saved me.

And there were those who weren't able to support me and in fact criticized me for my new way of looking at life through a glass, darkly.  To them, it was better that I put on a happy face instead of persisting in wading through the pain.

I think the most important thing I have learned in the past year is that wading through your pain, no matter how dark it may be and no matter how long, and sharing it with your community, is so much better than holding it all in, letting it build up in bitterness year after year, eating away at your heart.

So thank you to those who shouldered my burdens with me, and trudged through the muck and the mire, no matter how deep it was or for how long it continued.  To those who cried with me, who listened to me sob, who prayed for me, and who persisted to pursue me when I wasn't much of a friend.  I am so thankful for you.

And to those with whom my relationships are broken: I pray for you.  I pray that someday, we will be able to talk again and accept our ways of looking at life, and that neither of them is "right" but that they are right for each of us.