Wild at Heart or Dying at Heart?

"Safe?  Who said anything about safe?  'Course he isn't safe.  But he's good." ~C.S. Lewis

I love this quote from C.S. Lewis.  It's from the Chronicles of Narnia, and it refers to Aslan.  He is a good lion after all, but not a tame one.  He is wild.  He's not scary, just wild.  He's a free spirit, full of passion.  Wild at Heart.

I'm reading "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge, a book written for Christian men, showing them how God made them wild at heart.  They NEED a cause to fight for, an adventure to set out on, a maiden to rescue.  But first, they must find their heart.

Where is it?  It's buried in things our culture has told is are important.  An education, career, money, fame, awards.  And life got buried with it. 

As I've been reading, I've been thinking that men are not alone in losing their hearts.  My heart often gets buried beneath due dates, work, school, an internship, and just....stuff.  When I pull out my crocheting, mentor Sr. High girls, or read books I actually want to read, I find it again.

But this, this is the question that has been haunting me.  Why do I do this to myself?  Why do I let my heart get buried beneath grades, reading assignments, papers, and projects?  Why do I let it get buried beneath the critiques of my writing, friends in pain, and lots of work?  It's not worth it.

And so I'm on a journey to re-discover my heart.  Might it mean unfinished homework?  Yeah,  probably.  Might it mean missed commitments?  Yep.  Lower grades?  Perhaps.  But today, I have made a resolution.  My heart can no longer live in mediocrity, burying itself to get through the last  three semesters of school.   I resolve to find my heart again, to breathe, to do things I love to do that I don't have time to do.  Because my heart needs to be found, and captivated.  And you know what?  I bet I'll find some other hearts along the way.